#mayanapocalypse -These Things Also Survived 12/21/2012 by @ryanmega

If the world would have ended yesterday, I wouldn’t be typing this little note as an escape from the work I have to do before the holiday hits.  I’m not complaining because of the work. I am sure I’ll be chained to a cubicle in the afterlife. The fact is, we made it. We beat the prophecy. What’s behind the door for us? Nothing but more misery.

Here are the top 5 reasons it might’ve been better to obliterated yesterday.

1. Did you know that they found aliens on Mars yesterday? That definitely seems like a good enough reason for the world to end. Somehow it didn’t though. I guess we are making way for the great Martian invasion of 2050.

2. Steve Jobs boat got impounded. So is this a straight fuck you by the next guys up? I mean, he’s been gone for about 1 year and already his estate is forgetting why they get a commission or whatever it is those leaches get. So glad I am a PC.

3. Bulls beat the Knicks in the garden. I know, I am a Bulls fan, so this doesn’t make sense to you, but I have avoided every game this year, because I am waiting for the return of Rose (or the amnesty on Boozer). So when I heard about this win, I was perplexed at wanting to know more. But I can’t watch a highlight or a game until the PG is back on the rock. And if you are a Knicks fan, then you definitely wish you were dead, because now you know, your team is still not shit. To make matters worse, Carmelo got booted because he is still a sore loser, after all these years.

4. Lindsey Lohan and Charlie Sheen are making Scary Move 5. I didn’t know there was a part 4. As it stands, I can do without 6 months of  ‘drama on the set, and who said what’ coverage by all the bullshit news shows I let talk me to sleep each night.  Surprisingly, I love both of these twisted bigots separately, but together and its simply biohazard.

5. PSY’s Gangnam Style hits 1 Million views on YouTube.com. I am not sure what you would call this accomplishment. In short, I call it scary.  I wonder if he has a second single. But on the real, 1 Million views on YouTube OR 1 Million singles sold through iTunes – which would you choose rapper?

 

Ryan Mega

aka

@ryanmega

 

 

 

 

 

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