If I Were President

I am not sure I can solve the countries issues, but I’d sure give it a shot. If I ran, the following is my platform. I’d sign it the day I entered the race and campaign on the promise to enact these changes on day 1- ala Mitt Romney’s current campaign bluffs.

The office of the president, as head of the executive branch, commander in chief, and political figurehead, is multifaceted, but can be broken down into three main categories, or areas of focus. In no order, the president must have a solid economic philosophy, a solid social philosophy, and a solid foreign policy philosophy.  I’ll try to simplify my arguments for the brevity of this post, but I am open to feedback and debate.
Here we go:

Social Freedom:

I have always thought of myself as a libertarian because I feel that in the end, government is a social construct, and it should not enforce laws that inhibit any but the most extreme of human behaviors, so as not to encroach on free will. Unfortunately, my ideas on regulation separate me from most registered Libertarians. I agree with the common Libertarian notion that it is a woman’s right to choose for example, while still understanding that I have nullified the child’s right to live for the sake of personal freedom. If a woman wants to jab a vacuum in her vagina 100 times in a lifetime, so be it. I don’t believe government should stoop to regulating personal behaviors, and most laws that attempt to manage these behaviors should be stricken from the books. You can tell me something is illegal and put a fine on it, but even if I get caught, I still did it and your penalty can’t deter my personal freedom from doing it again. People are already doing drugs. I only have to legalize it because someone decided to make it illegal. That’s not government in my book. That’s a waste of time. I’m not saying we drop charges for murder, but if we have to debate the vote on gay marriage, then we are going about this government thing wrong. Why would I ever care what another person is doing in the privacy of their home or gay club? If I were to ban anything gay, it would be gay public sex, but I don’t worry about that too much, so I doubt I’ll ever have to see that on a ballot. If only I could get more hetero public sex acts passed by congress. People have the right to marry whoever they want. In the beginning, the framers of the constitution likely did mean for the improvement of America to build through the marriage of man and woman and the building of strong families, communities, and cities. And they also meant for it to built on the backs of slaves. I think we can all agree things change. In this day and time, why are married people still getting credit for being married. Marriages don’t even last. But I’ll get back to that on economic reform. The point is, any American citizen of age has the right to marry another American citizen of age. No foreigners, no pets, no inanimate objects. All that shit is just ceremonial. If you have a social security number, you can tie it to another for the purposes of financial interloping, tax purposes, and wills and trusts, etc.
And since things change, its time to get away from some of the social programs we offer in this country. I know you never heard a nigga say this, but welfare is shit. There are a huge number of elements plaguing black families in the cities and poor rural whites all over the country, but monthly deposits from the government are not the solution. Affirmative Action needs to die, but served a vital purpose, so I would phase it out with a 40 year Act of Congress. 400 years ago the odds were tilted to an unbelievable degree. A black president might win for a second term and its not that hard to be a rapper and fuck a white girl, so maybe these archaic laws, designed to weaken the black community are about done (side-note: I believe that desegregation laws are necessary to allow freedom of access, but I felt the push to integrate greatly demolished the ability of the black community to keep the bond and identity forged in the years since slavery. I’ll blog on this later). Also the genetic make up of the American population will be drastically changed in the next 40 years, so there won’t be as much need for equality laws, especially not with the ideas I have to correct the social ills without liberally abusing the constitutional power of the office of the President. I would likely scale back social security to a wage assistance, retirement savings only system and also make the tax optional. I think the British had something like this that was working until they tied it into their health care system. This is why health care needs to be a separate program if a government program at all. So no to Obamacare. I would offer universal health care, but it won’t be given to you for free. The only free thing the constitution references it the freedom of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I tried to think of all the government offices that I have waited in, all the bullshit fines and applications and fees and all the bullshit government songs I had to learn in school and I just wish I didn’t. My life would have been much better without them or the existence of them, I am very sure of this. There is a common fear that government will protect the needs of the poor and therefore will protect the needs of black people, but I recall most abolitionists were not public citizens, and the movement was definitely not spearheaded by any president or supreme court justice without much agitation from the people. I don’t believe in social constraints and ties to government, because I feel the people will depend on the people, no middleman needed.

Economic Reform:

The key to my presidency and legacy will be my stance on economic reform. The way that we deal with the government should only be on a monetary need and I want to simplify it in many aspects. I am going to simply the tax code ala Herman Cain’s 999 plan, except my plan makes sense. The fact is there is a need to tax and there is also a need to redistribute wealth in a capitalist society, but I am going to make it pretty fair all around. I am going to get rid of the capital gains tax and the inheritance taxes, estate taxes, etc. in favor of a universal 20% tax on all money made each year. I’m taxing heavy and hard across the board.  A flat 20%. I don’t care if you made 20K or 20M, you’re giving 20 % or going to jail. If you put money in the 401 K and the Roth pre tax and it earns interest, cool, but when you take it out, twenty percent of total income is taxed (that’s lower than the 35% before retirement age now). I’d limit all sales tax to 5% and leave its imposition to the individual states for their own coffers, but else wise, we limit state taxes to protect against double indemnity and to keep it extremely simple. Business would pay 20% of all earning in taxes.   Before you ask what I am going to do with all of this money, please know my economic philosophy boils down to one belief- the growth of the economy must out pace the cost of living for the average citizen. As long as I can facilitate that, I’m winning. I am not sure how this mess of an economy was made, but clearly with a shrinking middle class and another trillion per year in debt, we ain’t winning. Just because no one took our title don’t make us the champs.

The US GDP is about 15Trillion a year. Minus 20% and you have 3Trillion in taxes to play with. Yearly. How much is our debt to China? I bet I can wipe it out in a decade lol (this is hyperbole because our current total debt is already more than you’d want to know but we would be headed in the right direction still). First and foremost, I’d ease economic and industry regulations to allow for competition in new and emerging markets and industries, especially those that can further help us become a more productive economy. So I’d allow offshore drilling for the sake of the profits, but I am not going to subsidize them for a business that is clearly harmful. On that same note, I’d subsidize wind and solar power to ween us from foreign oil, which would only help our domestic oil interests while creating new horizons in natural energy that cn be sold to the world. The beauty will be in the way I subsidize different sectors for growth. More on that in a sec. I want to be sure that you know I am all about free trade. I see world economy now akin to the internet boom when the clock struck midnight in 2000. If it was stymied by law and encroachment, who knows how internet growth would have been limited. American business is being stymied by business codes that aren’t allowing us to compete with foreign countries who’s governments allow them to cheat the system and the value of the US Dollar. I will not allow American companies to claim American profits and use the American system advantages and commerce without paying taxes, so there will be no tax credits for any company doing business abroad, not employing primarily Americans, enacted as law for anyone but active armed forces stationed elsewhere.

Domestically, its about cutting spending first.  I’d change the scope of national agencies for code and compliance such as the EPA, FCC, to the most basic of their intended purposes. I have already wiped out the welfare state in the current existence, per my social freedoms arguments, and other entitlement programs would soon fall fast. In their place, with the money collected from the 20% flat tax, I’d create 4 basic ways of spending and redistribution (Military, Infrastructure, R&D Grants, and Debt Payoff/Savings/Foreign Investments). Here is where shit gets fun.
I like to present to you the American military state concept. Hate me for it, but there is something about knowing Israeli women know kung fu and shit that just turns me on. When I see those little Koreans marching in honor of their idiot leader, I only wonder what we would look like if soldiers routinely drilled in the streets of LA for citizens to see. More than that, I haven’t met too many servicemen who fail to live up to the integrity of the armed force training. But in my mind, the military needs to be so much more. I would turn over the education system to the military and allow them to run public schools to compete with private sector schooling. The truth is, many inner city kids could benefit from a military school like classrooms and learning environments. Also, no one develops a specialist with an exact set of skills like the military can. Imagine the beauty and talent that can be honed instead of squandered when you have a young person applying themselves to their future trade by the age of 16. All public health care would be managed and ran by the military. Gone are the days of county hospitals where struggling to meet the grade interns let victim after victim die without HMOs. Here to stay are military institutions with highly trained people performing routine clinical procedures to help balance the cost of health care by competing with the private sector using public dollars efficiently. I don’t think the military is perfect here. After all Walter Reed comes to mind. But the issues at Walter Reed were more to do with bad management of funds and less to do with a wide spread issue with military hospitals as many concluded at the end of the investigation.  By doing away with the regulations that hinder the growth of American business, and cannoning the presence of the military in social reform, I am going to slice the budget without changing the current lifestyle standards of the American people, regardless of age, race, religion or creed.

Last year the US Military Budget was about 700 Billion. Coincidentally, the Social Security Budget was about the same. When combined and managed more efficiently, by private and public agencies, these two budgets can be cut to 1Trillion a year. That’s how much I am ear marking for all of the military programs and social welfare of today. If we can’t get it done and secure ourselves within that budget, we ain’t winning. I believe we can and certainly once the GDP grows, this amount will grow and improve the class of public programs offered as well. Imagine, no more failed public schools because they are all backed by military funds and ran on federal level. The books we read would mostly be the same and the tests would be uniform and unbiased. If an unwed mother can’t afford to pay for healthcare for the baby, the military can take a stake in that child’s life early in, if the mother decides to give her kid to the military system. And of course I mean give nearly in the sense of indentured servitude but seriously, a free public birth on a military base in exchange for the right to be drafted into war 18 years later. It would be like a point system. Coming into the world for free will cost you 1 point and you can clean that up by electing yourself a draftee for the military or completing community public service at the age of 18. This point system would carry in all aspects of life until you were 18 and then the burden of the points would be enacted. You want to go to public/ military school for free, great, but that’s a point a year.  You would get no social security unless you have ”points” and your retirement benefits and health care (benefit’s shouldn’t start before age 70) from the public sector totally determined by these “points” thus creating a system where people must put in to get out, and nothing more (can we even call this welfare anymore?). Free education on the military base in exchange for required military service. I can see the kids complaining about the school uniforms already 🙂 but it would be a very quick way to alleviate the disparities in the public school system. Issues of school choice would be moot because there is no choice in what base you end up on in the military. I’ve rarely seen one military base that wasn’t like the other anyway and this will trickle down to our schools. There may be government welfare programs better ran by the someone other than the military, but I can’t think of any now. I do know that about 160 Million Americans are of working age now and that number will stay about the same throughout my life. For that reason, we should ensure that these 150 Million are doing the best possible position for the best possible pay in order to boost our overall GDP. This is why I say scale down the welfare state and combine it with the military. 15 million people live in poverty. I do believe 1Trillion dollars can support the military and the needs of these 15Million, especially when I get into the redistribution argument in my economic platform. After the 1Trillon of our current tax revenue earmarked for military spending, I’d move about half  the amount to Infrastructure and rebuilding America. Simply put, its time to rebuild. Lets build it better than before. Another 500 Billion would go into government sponsored research and development programs, which if all works out, will be the only controversial spending on my budget. That leaves 1 Trillion for Savings, Debts, and Investments in Foreign Markets. 3 Trillion in taxes spent well, with a purpose of generating more income for all, not some, or a few, but all.
The beauty of my economic reform relies in my changes to the tax code. On top of the flat tax, I will overhaul all tax credits. There is still a need to level the playing field and we will do it by moving those tax points or point credits, to put it simply conceptually. I would be a liar if I believed all military facilities and programs would be equal without any signs of anti-aliasing. Furthermore, a family of 5 in the inner city with a one income household needs more help from the military/welfare system than a suburban baller banking on his first yacht. Who get the point credits and how much? Well the private guy has probably got the private money sewed up, and he’s paying his 20% and doing fine, so its clear that the baby mama needs it. She’ll hypothetically get 2 points credit for kids per year. One for school and one for healthcare. She could also earn other points by working in a military appointed position if she suffers from unemployment. These additional points could be banked or used to help advance the quality of living if she saw fit to improve the school her kids attended, or perhaps the public housing environment that she lived in (and we are talking grade B from grade C, new car instead of slightly used, not becoming rich overnight- that’s private sector). If she simply stayed on her ass for 18 years, the kid would turn 18 owing 36 points plus one for birth minus the 5 from the years where school was not required. After her kid turns 18, declares himself private or military by electing into the military or completing community service, the points stand at 32 or under. These points will have to be worked off through military service, i.e work in the public sector, before benefits such as retirement can accrue.  And this is how the point system would work through the life of the citizen. If a person grew up poor and self-elected into the military system out of necessity, they wouldn’t be forced to do military service. They could always turn 18, elect for civilian life, and pay a percentage more of their wages in exchange for the points owed, likely something akin to another 5% tax per point held each year until the years of free health and education are paid back. For the sake of running the number’s that is paying 51% in income tax on top of the 20% required by law to even begin if you should choose civilian after 18 years of military/welfare help (32 points X 5% tax per point= 51%. this big number can be offset with a buyers credit, details to come). This means that people who make money yet benefit from the system of military/public help will pay the most taxes. People with money will be required to pay their 20%. and people with no money will pay no taxes but owe the military system points or bank points points. Its fair. Its not libertarian or socialist. And like home ownership, no one will be more proud to be an American than the guy who has paid the 51% tax rate and live and served to see it fall to the floor of 5%, the minimum rate for carrying the 1 point required for public health each year.

Recap: Tax points are accrued in increments of 1 per year for public school and public healthcare respectively. They are not required, as the private sector is robust. They are taxed at 5% per point per year or they are worked away through public service.  The points are regulated by the Fed in a manner that keeps the point equal to 5% of the average cost of living per person. Tax points are offset by tax credits. Extra tax credits are given to poverty level citizens.

If I haven’t fucked your mind dry with this concept yet, let me continue on how tax points would connect to the working members of society in this economy. Tax credits are dependent on the purchase of tax points. If you have a business and want to be credited for services you offer to your employees, whether that is retirement programs or health care, you must invest in the government’s point system too. This is on top of the 20% income tax of course. Since healthcare and education are a necessity, if you pay for it for your employees, you will be credited with 5% in tax credits. This could mean cutting your tax liability in half (20% income tax – 5% school credit – 5% health credit). This promotes a smart and healthy society. It translates flat across the board to private citizens too. If a private business elects to buddy with a private health care company to bring you a health plan and they are covering the costs, they should get the credit for doing so.
These tax points (military, infrastructure, research and development, saving/ financial) could also be bought and sold on the market at tax time. Each point would cost 5% of your income. If you wanted to ball out and go all American on em, donating 5% of your income in exchange a point from each tax structure (Military, R&D etc), you’d pay 40% in taxes (20 flat tax + 4 structure taxes – this why people who take from the private sector and use the military sector but don’t give back will start off at a higher rate if they leech for 18 years, as earlier mentioned 51%).  What’s more the leeches don’t buy any tax points they can use to sell in a crunch, they are simply buying out of the negative. This facilitates rich people to pay over and beyond, but for a reason with clear return and get back. Businesses could move these points to other units of business to gain tax credits under one umbrella and married members of society would still be enticed to marry if only for the sake of splitting points earned and lost.  When a person who works their entire life in the public service and is raised by the public service dies, they should have more than enough points to pass on to their kids to give them a head start on life (and why not pay these military teachers a fair wage, such as 30 points per year to start 60 points per year to retire as a teacher).  Sure there will still be hipsters walking around with no points, because they were raised on their mom’s trust fund and now earn nothing and make nothing, and refuse to work for the man, but at least the majority of Americans will have a reason to buy into the American dream and a tangible way of knowing how much of it they own at any time. Gone are the days of a credit score. In with the days of the point system. American ingenuity will be reinvigorated with the investments from businesses and people alike and the common good will be the shared improvement for all. Major financial overhauls have occurred in this country before. I understand if some think these concepts are too drastic for the current economic times, but I think you’ll agree within our lifetimes that current distribution of wealth will lead to a faster demise of American society than any other problem we can imagine to plague our nation. America will end in a class war before it ends in a race war. The expected demographics shift of 2050 and the current economic boom of the global economy are only beginning to unfold. Its why I believe we should seriously consider overhauling the economy now, while integrating our social welfare programs and institutions and breeding them with our military ones to lessen the complexity of the ways that we redistribute money in the economy.

I told you muthafuckas, Herman Cain’s 999 but with actual substance.

Foreign Policy:

When it comes to foreign policy, the most important idea is that of a interconnected world. What we do in our homes and how we enjoy ourselves as Americans is entirely dependent on our relationship with the world. I can’t deny that as I type on my Japanese computer in my Mexican and Chinese made clothes. Or are these jeans Egyptian Levi’s? Its ass check time. This is a long as essay, so I will take a break and be right back with the facts.

……………….Okay they are made in Egypt. I have no issues with that as long as Levis has no issue paying back 20% of the profits made in the Nile.

But I digress. To wrap things up sweetly, foreign policy to me has always been about America finding new lands to rob and loot or new people to enslave. I would love to say that we can go to an isolationist way of life, but its a global market and we are the big dogs so we have to play. And as long as we have to play, the world should play by our rules and regulations. This is why I definitely won’t lie and say that I won’t intervene or even go after certain interests for American’s, but I will gauge these decisions on what is best for the world, not just America because that ‘s what the big dog in the global market does.  I wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in or go after people who attempted to stop us or thwart our efforts with terrorist threats and actions, but I wouldn’t be in Afghanistan anyway because they have nothing for us. If a country didn’t have an ideal society, I simply wouldn’t trade with them. There is no need to invade a country who threatens nuclear weapons. Simply let them know we have weapons guaranteed to eliminate them. Israel and Iran are left on their own to sort it out. I could care less. Just don’t fuck with the money, because then I might have to pay attention. Let the rest of the world leaders help them sort it out. We had enough.

I don’t think we need  to escalate a global war on terror. The terrorists aren’t powerful until we empower them. . Its a non law until you create the agencies to enact the law. I’d simply do away with the agencies and stop enforcing the law. Yes its important to spy on people and interrogate people with allegiances to other countries, but I will not create a jail for foreign captives in violation of the Geneva convention and will therefore close Guantanamo Bay. Foreign policy is a wait and see sort of section when it comes to the office of the president, but with the details above, you get a pretty general idea of how I would govern as president. The same goes for the Patriot Act and issues with domestic security. If it isn’t detrimental to the nation and doesn’t inhibit on personal freedom, why would I want to start an agency to police it. Bye bye Homeland Security and the DEA, FBI, and ATF. I mean lets be real, they can’t stop the drugs or guns, and private newspapers do better detective work than the FBI most days.
In regards to immigration and alien rights, I’d certainly okay a right to citizenship program. There seems to be no reason to fine or punish poor migrants who want to work and the businesses that hire them. I’d likely make the business or the migrant pay for the necessary fees and would start the negotiations at military service or a college degree. After all, we don’t want to put off the impression that we are not grateful for the contributions of Mexicans and Mexican Americans, or any group seeking refuge in America especially if they are doing it the right way. I’d support some form of the Dream Act that would allow young people in route to citizenship to begin investing into the public/military system. I would only deport undocumented immigrants arrested for violent crimes or those arrested for drugs and I might have a military department set up just to review these cases.

And for the most part that’s my platform. There are a few gaps and some questions left for debate, but I wrote this with no outline and sitting on my ass for like 6 hours straight so give me a break. Before I close out, I want to weigh in on a few very important recent political events and presidential actions and voice my point of view, albeit with the bias of retrospect.

On labeling foods and dietary intrusion:

I believe the government should monitor the diets of its citizens in regards to health safety and immediate risk, such as food inspection and health code mandates. I do not believe it is the governments place to tax certain foods or vices because they pose a greater risk to society. I imagine the education of health and health standards is better left to the medical community and the insurance companies that do not want to bankroll a fat ass kid from cradle to grave. Credits and tax points aside, its cheaper for everyone involved if they don’t have to use the insurance. I might put out a list of annual threat levels of common household products and give them all a color distinction ala George Bush Era terror warnings. Federal stickers and warning labels, nutritional facts and born on dates are all signs that the government has their hand in the commerce of ever day dietary consumption for some time. I’ll do my best to make sure this reach is not increased.

On China:

I imagine the China is like the American’s were around 1890 or so. After 100 years of internal struggle to maintain the nation, both nations took parallel steps into world power through economic and military empowerment, chiefly by breaking the respected the rules and global treaties and alliances of the day. If our history teaches us anything about the Chinese society we are witnessing dawn before us, its that the maverick nation will always rise to power. There will come a time when there will have to be real talks levied against China, but at this time, it seems their world presence hasn’t equated to a better freedoms for its citizens, and that is a sign that the economy is dependent on the government’s manipulation of currency and bullying of world markets and less dependent on the entrepreneurial spirit of the people. This can only lead to stagnate growth. Rarely do government lead economies grow larger than the governing power of that country. China might be able to invest in countries abroad, but no one is letting China hoist any flags in their land anytime soon. With that said, there needs to a be a plan for China and US economic relations that spans the next 50 years, a deal that strategically pays down the debt to China while also instituting trade and information laws that are universal and punishable in both nations, a standard that would be copied by other countries playing in the global economy. Imagine if every nation signed a promise to pay debt back as long as other countries respected copyright law and patent protections. This would give the United Nations a real job to do, along with the World Bank and IMF – police the financial systems for a purpose besides exploitation of third world countries.
If China or any nation should think to go to war with us over debt, we would surely win because we have the biggest economy. So we can spend the most on war. And we will spend more wisely. And we will have a military more representative than China, likely due to the number of Americans who have used public assistance at some time or another and the huge number Chinese who are rural peasants and undereducated. 50 years from now, it would be a problem, and that’s why I would do my best to build that relationship and sign that treaty now, before the sleeping Giant wakes up.


I believe in universal healthcare, but I don’t believe in a mandate. I don’t believe in a mandate for two reasons. One, I don’t want my muthafucking dollars being earmarked for medicine. I feel great and I feel like I am only getting better. I am not going to pay for the medical costs of a fat fucker with a cigarette addiction. As I stated in my economic reform platform, I believe we can institute a great public health system within the defense system and create a point system for people in need of health care. How is the point system, accruing debt and being in the hole the government any different than the tenets of Obamacare and Medicaid except for one being aimed at business and one being aimed at the personal wages of American citizens. Unlike Obamacare and Medicaid, this health care program is optional. But because its tied into the points system, the level of service is great and competitive with the private sector.


In my administration, there would be no need for the majority of the provisions passed in Dodd Frank. No liquid fund would be necessary because we would already have the 4 sectors for tax revenue, one of which being financial investments. All financial instruments would be policed by the government agencies who would regulate the instruments by setting point rates of taxation based on the volatility of the instrument. Home finance would be less taxed than derivatives.  Bailouts would be non existent. If you want government help, prepare to give up points. If you need a bailout, prepare to owe points. Another reason it pays for businesses to buy points outside of the 20% flat tax.

EPA Regulations:

I do think its okay for oil business to buy ocean rights with enormous taxes to drill for oil. I don’t think its okay to kill National Parks. I do believe in global warming and I also believe in American ingenuity. I believe that we can use our R&D dollars right to find ways to combat global warming and energy consumption while still making the most of the resources we pull from our own lands. As long as we keep laws on the books to protect the national parks, I see nothing wrong with drilling in the entire fucking gulf, we just need to master the technology first. I’d have the EPA regulate and inspect more than just sitting on their fucking asses making up bogus standards. There is a need to be conscious of the health of the world and the people in it, but I think the national standard has always been pretty decent. We are frontiersmen. We love our streams and forests and would riot if we found that private industry abused their natural beauty.

Citizen’s United:

Please know that this case starts because of Micheal Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11 movie. Conservative group Citizen’s United lost a supreme court case in which they sued the FCC for letting Michael Moore’s movie run ads within the election gray period, when political ads by corporations and unions couldn’t be purchased (Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act). They lost so they spent the next 5 years making political movies with the intention of attacking liberal candidates at election time, in hopes of stirring a fire under the previous ruling. David Souter retired from the court in what some say was an act of disrespect to the fallen grace of the court, who decided to let the videos play (which in laymen term meant corporations and unions can buy and promote political propaganda year round). The decision wasn’t held though because the chief justice Dumb ass John Roberts couldn’t make a valid oral argument, more evidence that he ain’t playing with a full deck and more fuel to the argument that this case drove Souter from the court. In the second hearing of the case the court finally came up with a valid argument, quite simply that it was a violation of the first amendment right to free speech and free association. So what some people got together and pooled their money together for a hate filled political ad. You get no tax credits for it. Its not a donation we are writing off in my administration so give all you want. Big business can give to the reds, and Unions can give to the blues, because in the end, Citizen’s United vs FCC doesn’t matter. SuperPAC’s don’t matter.

School Choice:

I believe that private education, backed by religious institutions, corporate dollars, vouchers, whatever, are more effective than the current public school system and its measurements on child success can ever be. Because my administration will open the market for new and unique schools and turn all public schools into our military institutions, there won’t be any issues with school choice. Underprivileged kids can earn points in military school that can be sold ala a scholarship if they decide to attend a regular university after turning 18. Because they are a graduate from a military institute, their ranking would be used in the admission process and nothing more. Private schools have always held their own admissions standards, so I think this small change eradicates the need for school choice in our public education system.


If a woman wants to kill her baby she can. No one else can stop her. If she doesn’t do it the right way under a doctor’s supervision, she’ll do it in the alley, or by forcing a miscarriage. With this said, I choose pro-Life. I don’t want to kill babies, but its not really my place to tell a woman she can’t when she has to carry it.

Death Penalty:

I am not for the death penalty because it doesn’t deter crime. It does punish, but so does life in solitary confinement,and psychological speaking, this is worse. When you find that death row costs twice as much per day just to trap a person alone in a room for life, the solitary confinement option becomes tangible. And I think if we do elect to kill someone, it must be at the request of the victim’s family and they must pull or elect someone to pull the switch, inject the needle, pump the poison gas, etc.


In my unholstered administration, businesses should grow at unbelievable paces, so keeping a bottom wage across the board is something I will carry over into my administration because it will need to set the standard for the point system and nothing more.

Gun Control:

Americans are fucking crazy and mentally ill. Kids grow up with video games and rap music telling them guns are fun and aren’t as dangerous as they were intended to be. Rarely does the media focus on the immediate fallout resulting from gun violence. People bleed and die painfully. People live in fear. People look for ways to move on, so they buy guns or improve security. Its an arms race built in the fear of our fellow citizens. I say kill it all by enforcing gun laws on the books and making it impossible for a private dealer to sell a gun. It is a weapon. Why should anyone less the military or a private corporation with liability be allowed to sell a gun? I think we can actually tax their sales so much that it deters the everyday gun man from buying more than 1 in a lifetime and if not dissuading by taxing, perhaps by forcing more legislation to achieve the license. You go for a license of any other kind and you have to take a test and stay renewed and current. If we tidy up the processes, tax and limit who can buy and sell, that’s controlling guns but still allowing the citizens to take advantage of their right to bear arms.

P.S. Military training would include the costs and fees of all of these classes 🙂

Bush Tax Cuts:

No extension. Nobody gets to keep a head start like that, especially when everyone around is saying no fair, you are cheating. You have the fastest car and you’re getting a 3 second head start. I think its time to even the race a bit. take back what they never had to begin with, they will still survive.

Debt Ceiling:

Only a rich broke muthafucka would be like, yea I know I’m fucking up my budget and I know I need to curb my spending, but since I have 200 more on my credit card each month, I might as well use it to buy other bullshit for my kids that they or I don’t need. This is my view on the debt ceiling. If you raise it, you will have to keep raising it. Pay the fucking debt. One solution.

Welfare to Work:

This is the basis of my military industrial complex. You don’t work or promise your life to work for the state then you don’t get no help.

Online Piracy:

I think the internet should be an unfiltered rodeo with no regulation and will never get behind a bill like SOPA.

Drug War:

Decriminalization and medical research across the board. Put the CDC to use for once. Then taxation and control in the manner described with the gun laws above.

Stem cell research:

I’m going back to the days when government research wasn’t made public. I think the process and approval system can be made common knowledge, but when the federal government decides where to spend its R&D money, there should be no backlash because of anything except for mismanagement. Nobody wants to talk dead babies, but we can make some huge medical breakthroughs with this research so clearly I am on the side of innovation and entrepreneurship.

I guess that about wraps up my presidential platform. I really want to thank you for taking the time to read all of this. I know this shit was long and might have been confusing at parts, so please comment for clarification or insight. I might change my opinions, but for now, this is how I feel about our current state of the union. Vote for me. or Die.

Ryan Mega


2 thoughts on “If I Were President

  1. Ok, I have a lot to say but I’ll only post one issue here. I’m a little concerned about a mother being able to have these points add up for a child before they even know what is going on. Because once you hit 18, if you decide to go into the private sector you are killed by taxes. Could there be some sort of step program once you become a wage earner? Maybe 5% added each year for points accrued by your lazy ass parents on your behalf.
    Also, what about disabled children born to poor parents? Will they receive assistance?

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