If crowd winning wit were parceled out in 140 characters, I’d still be using twitter. The trouble is most jokes that can’t be delivered in 140 characters or less aren’t worth the punchline.
My twitter journey started with good intentions. My friend and former business partner Bryan aka Red X was like, “Yo, let’s do a blog and get twitters and talk shit and be internet famous.” and I didn’t have shit to do that day, so I was like, cool. I made the twitter and the blog and lets just say 500 followers later, I’m one step away from internet stardom. But then, Bryan and I stopped working together. And the blog really didn’t matter anymore because it never mattered to me in the first place. But I still had time to kill while taking a shit, and I became sort of addicted to the lunchtime banter link posts from celebs and associates alike. So I couldn’t stay away. When Facebook let the moms and grandmas in with shit like privacy filters, Twitter was pumping out more and more model chicks and adult stars, actually verifying some of these accounts. I could literally expect to hear it first on Twitter, and even if the news came with a short and twisted barb or hashtag, about Casey Anthony or Chris Bosh the Dinosaur, I knew it was real by the number of people tweeting about it, or the real reputation of the news breaker.
What happened you ask? Well, I started to care about my followers. I gave a fruitless fuck about the number of followers I have. I care about the stuff I share with them. Don’t get me wrong, I have had some classic one liners, well worth the retweet. But lately, it seems like all I say is idiotic and immature things. It’s hard to prove you aren’t an idiot when you have a list of idiot things attached to your screen name. I found myself approaching 10,000 tweets with nothing to say. So I gave myself an ultimatum. If I didn’t have an exact use for twitter by tweet 10K, I needed to walk away. If tweet 10K1 was going to be about the unimportance of the show Girls, the latest Stanton mixer, or how my butt feels on the inside, well, it just wasn’t worth the thumb work.
I would like to think I might return. Until then, who knows. I have been gone for 2 weeks. Give me a month and lets see if I go through withdrawal, or if I run to set up and instagram in consolation. I took some time to share a few of the gems from my old twitter. Peace to all you nitwits in tweeterville, USA. Say something cool.