I always try to find meaning in the suffering. I am realizing not all suffering has a meaning. If there is a moral to this story, its one I have heard before.
This isn’t the first time I have become too involved with a psycho bitch. I hope I am disciplined enough to never do it again.
But I think I’m attracted to drama queens. And that makes for a hard solution. I believe in gender roles (as defined by society) and for this reason, I have concluded that women desire to be cherished and men want to be needed. I didn’t come up with that dope shit. I read a book by L. Diamond. Check her up. But I digress. The point is, girls run when I no longer cherish them. This is normal, expected, and actually a part of my blow game (when I am tired of a bitch, my only thought is- do nothing for her that makes her feel special).
But again I digress (fucking Cosmo’s and their strong drinks). What I am saying is, I deal with CRAZY ASS FUCKED IN THE HEAD ASS BULOMIC, FORMERLY FAT, BLONDE, (formerly raggedy brown) CALL ME ONCE A DAY at 10 oclock or else types of girls who, for obvious reasons, NEED someone to substantiate their feeble existence. This makes me feel needed. This was my zone, subconsciously.
I am a natural helper and I care about anyone I have ever had a meaningful conversation with (true story), so when a needy person attaches to me (they NEED me, usually because an ex has done them wrong, or etc.) I usually suffered with them no matter the bullshit they came with. I see now -I cherish some garbage ass shameful ass degenerate ass bitches.
My home girl schooled me. I should exercise my inner asshole. I am alpha male in and out, but when you have my heart I turn beta. But she convinced me that if I wanted to fuck girls and break hearts, I’d still be needed, because I am needed. I am single, no kids, 30, big dick, slight credit trouble, (620) but have always had a gig and benefits. And it took a while, but I finally figured that all I need to do is do me. DO ME. Sure, bitches will come and go when they see I’m not putting them on my insurance EVER (search this blog for “I will never marry you lol”, but at least I don’t waste time trying to stay “needed”. Now, I’m like fuck a “needy bitch”, I just want a thirsty chick or a classy chick, so I can line up the game accordingly. Back up on my pimp mentality shit. Muchachas beware.
What I have learned if anything is this. There are different classes of needy bitches. And the next time I waste time with a needy bitch, her name better be Oprah.