I just got a smoke alert. A call from a friend after midnight when he or she is so inebriated in the funky aroma that they fail to realize the time of day. If you have ever been down this road, like I have before, you know the only answer to a smoke break is to invite yourself to the smoke, or rather invite it to you. Any true smoker worth his marbles will realize the utter stupendence of his phone call while simultaneously allowing his subconscious need to be communal when high and oblige. My smoke alerter came and went but not before leaving the stickiest catch since velcro tennis. It smelled like ammonia is an understatement. I’m going to pay for this shit tomorrow.