STD Check = Priceless

I am writing this from the lobby of my local planned parenthood. Its unbelievable how comfortable I am in this location. Don’t get me wrong. Its not like I want to be here, but way more hotter chicks come here than my doctors office. In fact, she has nothing but geysers in her office when I’m there. Plus these chicks are definitely banging. But I digress. I’m here because I have had an undeniable itchy sensation on the tip of my penis all night. Its been weeks since I’ve had sex, but when I described the feelings to a friend who had been burnt, he advised me to get checked asap. I’m extra mad because I don’t have any kind of insurance right now so this trip is gonna cost me about 140 in cash I don’t really have to spend on my dick. But to know is priceless.

I kind of knew this was coming. The last few months have been tricky for me (search this site for Raw Dog Fucking). After dating a girl with herpes for nearly a year, and using every possible precaution to prevent an std, I went buckwild when she said she didn’t want to see me anymore. I didn’t just walk out into the streets and find any old prostitute- ILL! I went back to my exes, my old fuck buddies, etc. But that wasn’t the mistake.

The mistake was trusting that any of them were safe to go raw in. That’s all on me. Pressed my luck like a whammie. Yeah they all front like they are goody two shoes but remember you can’t trust a ho for nothing, wedding ring, pregnant with your baby, whatever! You can’t trust a condom not to bust- its happened to me at least a dozen times in the year so far (I fuck a lot). You can’t risk it.

But I have risked it and so, here I am, counting my prayers, hoping I’ve got nothing a little Z pack won’t fix.

Chances are its nothing. But who wants to keep taking chances.

As soon as they tell me my dick is cool, I’m going monogamous with a live in girlfriend (now taking apps). This bachelor life is for the birds.


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