10 Presidents Who’s Grave I want to Piss On

I for one could not be president. I realized along time ago that most people are stupid and I feel that the world would be better if I pushed a button and we obliterated most of the worlds population. The talented tenth is all I’m saving. Be lucky I don’t want to be president. That said, I want to give credit to the presidents that have come before who I respect. Everybody but Obama.

10. “I speak tonight for the dignity of man and the depths of democracy” – Lyndon B. Johnson because he passed the Civil Rights Bill, The Voting Rights Bill, and the Fair Housing Act, 20 years after being elected into Congress on a racist platform. Hated Martin Luther King for not being a “good boy”.

9. “Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. – Ronald Reagan because he didn’t give a fuck about anything but bringing on Armageddon and eating fat ass steaks until the day of nuclear holocaust. Got shot and lived for no other reason but to piss people off. He was a prick.

8. “The jaws of power are always open to devour, and her arm is always stretched out, if possible, to destroy the freedom of thinking, speaking, and writing.”- John Adams because he forced the Declaration of Independence into existence and avoided war with France during the only time in history when France could still kick our ass.

7. “What is right and what is practicable are two different things.” – James Buchanan because he was a lifelong bachelor, but more importantly allowed the southern secession and influenced the Dred Scot case, canonizing the existence of Slavery into new territories.

6. “We must take the battle to the enemy, disrupt his plans, and confront the worst threats before they emerge.” – George W. Bush because during his 8 years in office he enacted more laws and departments than any president since FDR, and all were devoted to war / defense. Furthermore, he was able to convince the majority (White) of America that preempted war was something that a superpower should do to secure oil.

5. “America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, it is the other way around. Human rights invented America.” – Jimmy Carter because the guy was too nice to be president. Way too nice. His fiascoes and miscalculations are numerous.

4. “No matter what anyone may say about making the rich and the corporations pay taxes, in the end they come out of the people who toil”- Calvin Coolidge because he was an idiot savant who reinvigorated the presidency by doing nothing but serving. He had a record 520 press conferences, yet never said more than a word in private.

3.Any time we deny any citizen the full exercise of his constitutional rights, we are weakening our own claim to them.” – Dwight Eisenhower because he is responsible for the biweekly fucking we get called social security tax because of his reform to FDR’s system. He failed to act on civil rights when it was time to do something about the dynamic race had in the country (Kennedy won the election using Eisenhower’s inaction for foil). And he initiated the nuclear arms race with the Soviet Union at a time when the Cold War was regulated to tariffs and blockades at most (Google U-2 scandal).

2. “Let us remember that revolutions do not always establish freedom. Our own free institutions were not the offspring of our revolution. They existed before.”- Millard Fillmore because he allowed for slavery to spread west of the Mississippi when he was bullied by the South’s threat of succession. He started the University of Buffalo and the Presidential Library. His party was the Whigs. He was the last of them and most importantly, he was never elected president. He lucked up when Taylor died of ass gas.

1. “Outside of the Constitution we have no legal authority more than private citizens, and within it we have only so much as that instrument gives us. This broad principle limits all our functions and applies to all subjects.” – Andrew Johnson because somehow a white supremacist was elected to office, he defeated the first civil rights act, killed reconstruction, and passed legislation (black codes) that were the foundation for 100 years of segregation in the North. He was the first president to be impeached as well.


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